Dear Yahoo,
You’ve been around the internet longer than some of us have been alive. You are the internet’s senile grandpa in many ways: farting, fumbling and bumbling his way through the last years of a life of regret, waving his proverbial stick at the younger, flashier grandkids who never fail to parade their shiny new toys at the dinner table. When I feel more sympathetic, I like to see you as the internet’s Milton Waddams, though I’m certain that less than 1% of your staff will get the reference.
That you’ve sucked hard for almost a decade is apparent to anyone who visits your largely clueless site. Even as the world has embraced, and then ditched Web 2.0, you’ve steadfastly stuck to an old, irrelevant portal model. The world’s tweeting, making dozens of friends on Facebook, and playing SomeVille, but you’d much rather publish hastily written, poorly worded articles on ‘New! Exciting! Fall Fashion Trends with Hot Hot Hot Models!’
